Pictures: Top: Kyle,  Middle: Catilyn, Bottom: Austin (oldest)
I am still dealing with the effects of last night. I have shed some tears today. I know I need to make a decision and things going depending on what I decide. I can't go through this we are good for two years and then I am going to screw up. I went through his Blackberry (phone) today and found that he had been on some sites via the internet which is where the parole violation came in at and hence failing the test. He apparently from looking at one site has been doing this since November. His parents are willing to support me and help me with the kids for now but my mother in law was ticked after the last time he screwed up and had to do just one kid and now there are three. The biggest problem will be to get the boys on and off their buses mainly off of them since I work 12 hours when I work at the hospital. I am working at the tax office for another month (until 4-15). I am going to be doing prayer, study and research in order to make my decision. Tomorrow is visitation at the jail but I will more and likely not go just yet. I want him to have time to think and I want time to think as well. I may say things and upset the visit at the moment. Just can't believe after he promised me that he figured out I was the only one he wanted that he would mess up and try to find a "friend with benefits". I am hurt.